Nudity

It has always been a dream of mine to have a blog nicely decorated with words eloquently written. It makes me feel smarter for some reasons. I have already thrown that mindset out my window. From the very beginning, I guess, this blog represents a precious insight of what swims in my head.

I'm not too sure how many of you who reads this are my close friends but I would say a substantial amount of you are acquaintances who would like to know what this "rockstar wannabe" is all about. Well today is your chance.

First and foremost, this "rockstar wannabe" doesn't have a girlfriend to begin with. Why? I don't know. Half of you would be in a state of shock not because this would be a golden opportunity to ask Cupid to assasinate me (i wish) but how can a guy like me, who sings at cafes, who performs on stage, who writes songs, not get any numbers from ladies. Beats me. I become what I am not for the chick factor. I ain't that shallow. I have met plenty of nice girls before. The work environment that I am in just facilitates it but the only one thing that prevents me from hooking up with any would be the difference in values and lifestyle. That, my friend, is my pivotal point for any relationship.

I would prefer someone to get to know me without knowing that I am an active musician. Strip away my abilities, would anybody care for me for my values and principles? Sometimes, when people get to know that I sing or perform in a band, their perceptions and behaviour change. They tend to prefer the "music" me than me.

You know what is the coolest thing to me? Somebody liking me for my values and principles first and then surprising them with my music side. A few got to that stage before and I really felt sincerity in that relationship. I'm just talking about friendship in general, not just lady issues.

This lady above does not care about the "music" me. In fact, sometimes she wonders whether I go to school to study or for lyrical muse. Well that is just pure her, amazingly adorable. She is one of them. Of course it is just natural for her to get to know me before my music endeavours kicked off but that is what I am really talking about. People knowing you for who you are stripped down, not for the accesories you put on as you grow up. How many of us have encountered people wanting to get to know us just because we have something extra?

I'm just blessed with the very few people whom I've met who accepts me naked and bare and even with my clothes on, still looks at my bareness and nakedness without prejudice. Sometimes, when I get too flashy, they strip me down bare and return me to reality. We need these people. I hope you guys have found yours. If you do, don't let them go because in this world, there are a lot who are hypocrites and insincere. What they do for you, they must have something in return.

If my best friend wants me to push his bike at 3am in the morning, I will screw him first for waking me up and then will go to great lengths just to help him out without anything in return. I have long accepeted him for his nudity. Anything else that he wears is a bonus. The clothes we wear just simply represent our achievements and talents. They enhance our inner self through the portrayal of external sights.

I guess it is easier to get to know somebody when they are nude rather than having to slowly remove their clothings to see what they really are inside. That would take more time and trust.

jamiel
please accept me for my nudity first

The Reality in TV

I just watched Fear Factor. And you know what, when you try to audition for that show, make sure that your breast size is at least size D before you send in that tape.

jamiel
fier fucktor

Sharp Nose Junkie

I'm leaving for Jakarta tomorrow. Chances are, I will be back by Sunday. Don't start calling me yet because my sim card is still not activated.

It is amazing how one photo can invoke so much feelings, smells and emotions all at once. It tells a complete story. For me, this was a photo of survival and I am grateful to still be healthy and happy.

Don't forget to miss me for I do not know when I will be gone.

jamiel
bnw

A for Attan, B for Busuk, C for Cat!

Finally safe and sound eating satay and roti prata in Singapore. Everything is in order. My cat, Attan, still remembers me when I called him at the bus stop and he followed me home. Nearly 6 months I've been away and it has been nothing short of an adventure of a lifetime. I've never crossed so much sea, walked over so much land and flew over vast space in my whole 25 years of existance. And what intrigued me the most was that I was amazed at how far I can be stretched mentally and physically.

Milestones,

In Haatyai, I didn't sleep from 9pm till 12noon the next day.
Ferry rides make me wanna puke but yet on the way back to Singapore I had to take 2 of them.
I finally managed to cross the whole stretch of Peninsular Malaysia with one bus ride, from the Thai-Malaysian border to the Singapore-Malaysian border.

I was in 3 countries in one day. Thailand, Singapore, Indonesia.

I managed to be able to converse in Thai quite fluently to the extent that many thought I was a Thai.

Realizing I had the potential to be a linguist excites me because a new form of belief has emerged and that is hard to come by for me.

I visited Wali Song, the 9 Holy Men who single handedly transformed Java into a Muslim country. To do that, I had to travel throughout Java itself, east, central and west. The journey itself was one of the most testing experiences that I had ever gone through throughout my travelling stint anywhere.

I guess many of you would know by now how random I can be when it comes to travelling. One day I can be in Krabi, Thailand and the next thing you know, I will be in Solo, Indonesia. I guess what keeps me keen on travelling is the journey itself. Every journey that I go through, will certainly have it's own story to tell. For example, in Thailand, I have no problem at all when it comes to taking buses to travel 12 hour straight to head up north of Thailand. But here, I nearly puked my whole gut out when I took the local transportation across east of Java.

Travelling allows me to see, experience and then reflect. It may sound silly but I travel to have a sense of suffering. To understand what people from other parts of the world have to go through and endure daily. The problems that the people in Singapore go through is minimal compared to what Indonesians or Thais or Cambodians have to go through.

Next reflection. Why are the Indonesians and Thais very warm, helpful and sociable people? What happened to the Singaporeans? Is it because as a nation gets more educated, liberal and has a pro-western influence, the more reduced its virtues and morality? I do not know. It is just food for thought.

In Indonesia, when I took the local train (imagine Indian dilapidated trains) an old man can ask a young girl where she is heading for. People acknowledge each other on the streets with warm and friendly smiles. I guess I yearn for what I can't get in Singapore, humility, so much so that I have to travel far and wide to satisfy my personal desire which is to experience and learn humility.

For now, I just want to stay put for a while and do more reflections and just share amazing stories to those who wants to hear them.

jamiel
concrete memoirs