The Ugly Duckling

Let me share with you the story of the Ugly Duckling. Long story cut short, its about this baby goose, wrongly placed in a duck's nest. When he was born, he was despised by the ducklings and no matter how hard he tried to impress his step siblings, he was always being coined the 'ugly one'. He felt so low and sad. And so, he left the nest in search for peace. He faced a lot of challenges in the wild. But it made him stronger.

Fast forward the story, (makes fast forward sound effect) ewewewewewee

He hasn't been seeing his reflection in the water for quite a while. And when he did, he met a group of swans that called him beautiful. He looked at himself in the water and realise how true they were. And he lived happily ever after.

Ok. Rememer the times when we were very self-conscious about how we look and how we behave? How we dress and how we speak? It was a period of vulnerability and insecurity. What is our identity? Everybody was trying to find one. It was a battle between who you are and what you want people to see you as. Do I want to be the class clown so that I will be noticed? But I am a deep thinker at the same time and want to be viewed as a serious person. Or do I want to be the sweet girl whom everybody adore when in actual fact i want to do rock climbing and outdoor activities. Everybody will go through this phase. The phase that I call "The Duck Phase".

Every little negative comments that was passed seems to be a HUGE deal for us. "Why do you centre part your hair? Why do you speak with a slang? We are just going to the Cold Storage but why are you dressed up as if we're going to town?" These are just the few questions that many of us faced during our teenage years in school. Remember them? Well, those were the times when we depended on our friends for emotional support and comfort. It is natural to have a sense of belonging. But being too dependant on this can go both ways. One extreme is that it inhibits your self-esteem development. To belong to a group, you have to succumb to the group norms and ideals. The baby swan was trying to be a duckling and feels low when it is rejected or being put down when being called ugly. When you feel low, this retards your self-esteem development. From my point of view, this is just a self-fulfilling prophecy if you just accept the negative criticisms and not do anything about it. The most important thing in life is to be confident in oneself no matter how different we are from others because our happiness depends on how we want it to be and not necessarily what others want it to be.

The other extreme would be that you're just happy the way things are in the group. Let me emphasise the phrase, "just happy". But are you really happy deep inside? Is this who you are? Is it what you want to be? Questions are raised. You start to do some soul searching. But to some people, they don't search at all. Just like the guy who got lost outside McDonalds, sitting, doing nothing with his friends and coming back here again tomorrow and the day after, doing nothing but the same thing again. Nothing. Have we ever stop at our tracks and look around in awareness?

Actually we do stop and think. However, some of us stop thinking when we see that the future is uncertain. That is why we'd rather stop and seize the moment while we can. Because we're afraid of what the future holds for us. By doing so, we do not allow the swan in us to emerge. But in actual fact, we are already the beautiful swan. It's just a matter of how fast are we able to get out of the "Duck Phase". But however, if we remain afraid, then we'll forever be the ugly duckling. If only we can liberate ourselves from this "Duck Phase" and be the beautiful swans we are, then maybe we'll look back at the ducks and realise that we have been better all along.

So, give yourself some self-empowerment and be confident. Everybody's beautiful in their own ways. So don't worry about other people's comments. Be confident about what you wear and how you portray yourself. You don't have to pretend to be somebody whom you are not just so to be accepted by others. Look at yourself in the mirror and tell yourself, "I'm Beautiful". (thumbs up)

Ja