I'll reply your letter

I just read Guofeng's blog. Welcome back bro. It's just great to know that someone had the opportunity to catch a glimpse of Europe. I've had my fair share of Asia but I swear, everytime I get the opportunity to put myself on another God created land, I feel surreal, that I managed to succumb to this 'I am poor and i don't think i can afford the time' mentality.

It is true. Ever since young, life has always about me telling myself, 'Jamiel, if this is what you want, you go get it, but never ask for any money from anybody'. Others are lucky to receive support and grab that experience earlier than others. I guess plenty have had this debate before where one would say, earning your money and spending it would be much better than getting it straight from your parent's pocket. Hello, wake up. I don't mind having an epiphany later in life after enjoying all that. Realizing that it is better to earn and spend your own money without parental support could always wait. Why not, since you're already in that position, make good use of it. I call that fate and luck. We can't complain our current position but we can certainly change them if we want to.

For me, money has always been an issue that I really hate to talk about. Because of insufficient money, I thought twice about sending Attan to the hospital. I didn't have enough savings. Because of insufficient money, I had to slog my way to fund my Thai trip. The opportunity cost? Time with family. Because of insufficient money, I had to pay for my family's outstanding bills at the expense of my own savings to fund my Jakarta endeavour. I don't eat much. I am very prudent on spending. Whenever I see something nice, I'll tell myself, if I don't need it now, don't buy. It would be great though, not to think about money, even when you feel like eating something nice for a change. But I can't help it, it's a survival mentality that has always stuck on me since a kid. If you can't afford, don't buy and don't borrow. Experience taught me that.

I am giving myself 4 more months to save up with hope that Jakarta gives me the green light and I could already leave Singapore. I hope I could save enough at the end of the year to survive in Jakarta. If not, I am going to face another challenge. I hope I don't get lost if I work as a taxi driver.

jamiel
i really miss Attan so much