Good morning class

Morning morning! Ok ladies and gentlemen. I am going to be an adjunct professor, lecturing on issues ranging from different ways to eat your curry and what is the proper way to flush the toilet to avoid the crap water from splashing on your pants. But first up, course prerequisites.

Blog participation is crucial. If you want to ace in this class, you've gotta crap a lot. Smoke your way through and must suck up to me like the way many people do to their other profs in class to get their A++s.

I will putting up the assignments in here. Scrap Vista, smuconnect (defunct), oasis and what not. This class is bidding-free which means NO HEADACHE. Yayyyyyyy!!! Ok, see the crapping? Follow my style. Must lead by example. First up, the first lesson of the day. Toilet mannerism.

Lesson 1. Don't go and switch off the toilet lights when you know that there are still people crapping in there. Some people have night blindness. Don't be a sadist. Please? Thank you very much. We don't want craps to be flying all over and pasted on the walls. Finding your way through the darkness is truly one challenging task. Believe me.

Lesson 2. Do go and wash your hands after you pee. Please for goodness sake. Be hygenic. I've seen guys going to the toilet, peeing and then just walk off. Hello!!! I pity the next guy who shakes his hand. Pee Hand. ewwww..... Basic toilet mannerism.

Lesson 3. Don't go and pour water on people who are still crapping in the toilet. Eventhough you know that there is just NO WAY will he be able to catch you in the action but nevertheless, can't you think of anything more innovative? Throw banana skins, toilet papers, your crappy test papers perhaps. Perhaps, you can even write him a letter on how smelly his crap is and crush it into a ball with the words, "Just for you" written on it. At least that'll keep him occupied.

Lesson 4. If you know that you're having diarhoea for the day, don't wear zipper jeans. Understand? You're just making your life more miserable. At least the girls don't have much trouble if they wear skirts. For guys, wear those loose clothed pants. I don't know what you call them but yeah, those where you can tie them with strings. You can get them in Thailand.

Lesson 5. For those people who cannot aim and don't fucking flush the toilet bowl after you use, I shall hang you guys on a noose filled with 1000 different types of craps. Ranging from cow crap, to bird crap and to human crap. Then you'll drown in a pool of crap which just sticks on you till the day that you die. Everywhere you go, people will know that you're the guy who didn't flush the toilet bowl. How difficult can it be you tell me? Just pull the lever down and watch it swirl around. Nothing difficult right?

Ok class, that's it for today. I'm going to laze around in my office while the money keeps on rolling in my bank. May you all have a great day studying and if you're reading this crap now, I'd suggest you stop and start mugging. Understand? Prof Ja loves you all and missing his eye candy.

ja
feeling intellectual cuz my father dreamt that I was lecturing a class. Yippee....